DJ G Money On Krib TV, Young Cartoon Performs

Quick Question: Why Do I Miss My Abuser?

Q: I finally did it. I broke up with him. when do you finally stop missing him? I'm kind of there already, I just hate feeling like he was right about everything and that I really am "impossible to love" and that he was the only guy was the one who got away. Before we broke up, or when I was being "difficult" or acting like a "cunt" those were the things he'd say. So why do I miss him? My mom thinks I'm slow or retarded or something.

A: You miss him because what you had with him was your only representation of love. You yearn for those brief moments where you felt like he loved you. You remember that feeling...you want it again. He held his respect for you over your head like a carrot in a horse race for many years and you never could get it. He fed off of you wanting his approval and for some reason you fed into desiring his approval and proving to yourself that you didn't really deserve it or would ever get it.

You miss him because you have not yet met his replacement. You will continue missing him until you do. It's okay to miss him. He is a part of your life, a part of your story. Allow yourself that. Cry if you want to. Masterbate to the memories if you want to. It's all okay because it's how you feel. Just don't go back to him unless you want to stop complaining about how he treats you. If you go back, that means you love it!

One day, you'll meet a much tighter dude and you'll laugh at being all messed up because of your ex. And no, it won't happen when you get your stuff together, you lose those last 10 lbs or you're 100% over your ex. There are no conditions on the delivery of your true love. It'll happen when you least expect it. I promise. 

Thanks for writing. Hope you feel better!

Tee

Mr Grim 2 Da Reapa on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy

Lobo Honored on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy

www.305hiphop.com

I'm not a Prada bitch and I'm not a Louis Vuitton bitch. I make my own rules."- Lobo

Savvy purveyors of mainstream hip hop culture can attest to the standard fare when it comes to categorizing female artists. You're either a glamour girl, a sex kitten, an afro wearing enlightened chick or a bad bitch…. and then there's Lobo.

Twenty-eight-year-old Lobo The Lycan, is the first female honored with a Gold Star Award on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy for being one of the top connection makers on the entertainment scene in Miami.

The typical and stereotypical, the lame and mundane- Lobo says she's the opposite of everything and everyone that's out there. As a rap artist, promoter, model scout, writer, radio talk show host (Abunchathungs Radio) and advertising sales executive for Heat Magazine, Lobo is making fast moves to embrace her fantasy of becoming the CEO of a superpower entertainment company.

Abunchathugs Entertainment is Lobo's brainchild, conceived under a thick cloud of herbal essence with a hunger for more than snacks, Lobo says she recognized a need for an entertainment company that represents the thugs.

"It was the love that was missing out of the industry and you know your girl got that thug lovin'," Lobo quips. "I had to bring what I got to the table for the thugs and I mean any hustle minded person or anyone who is trying to get to the next level. I'm talking about corporate thuggin'. I want everybody to move up another tax bracket."

The stage sizzles when Lobo performs her single Let Me See That, a shake 'ya rump club bopper where she energetically proclaims her love for fat asses on women.

"I like to see'em bounce," Lobo explains. "Come chill with the boys, come vibe with a bunch of thugs. Pushin' up on a chick, but lettin' em know that I don't wanna get down with you like that but my boys might want to."

Vibe with Lobo on South Beach every Tuesday Night, filling in for DJ Epps as the host of the Sugar Shack Open Mic or catch her on www.myspace.com/yagirllobo.

Krib TV’s Embrace Your Fantasy honors the rising stars of the entertainment industry of South Florida. Hosted by Te-Erika, Embrace Your Fantasy airs on www.krib.tv live at 5pm every Tuesday. Past honorees included Mr. Vicious, Larry Dogg, Will Da Real One, Coach of Head Coach Entertainment and Mr. Grim 2 Da Reapa.

A Whole Lotta Lovin Goin On

Published in April 2009 issue of HEAT magazine

By Te-Erika Patterson

The rest of the country is catching up to what the South has already known- full figured women are the best thing walking. Forget about the size 2 waifs who continue to grace the covers of magazines causing millions of women who don’t fit that mold to feel as though they could not live up to the nation’s standard of beauty.

With the recent celebration surrounding Beyonce’s debut on the April 2009 cover of Vogue magazine, the cover title proudly boasting ‘Real Women Have Curves’, more and more women are dusting off their booty shorts and mini skirts as they declare to the world and everyone in it “I am bold and beautiful because I am who I am!

But you’ll never have to explain that concept to the fellas south of the Mason Dixon. We, the righteous, progressive brothers and sisters down in the dirty dirty already knew that.

We like our women nice and juicy, cornbread fed with an attitude to boot. No longer do we have to conform to an image of beauty spoon fed to us by a select few of nerdy wannabe trendsetters in New York. We take pride in who we are, where we’re from and what we look like when we rock the gear that makes us feel good.

There’s a whole lotta lovin’ for the lovely ladies whose confidence is not defined by their waist size. Whatever the scale says, whatever the dress size, however the jeans fit, we now know that it isn’t the size that dictates our happiness and beauty- it’s the radiance that eminates from inside.

You are beautiful!

An Alphanista VS HMW

Posted on Alphanista.com

By Te-Erika Patterson

Although an Alphanista and an HMW (High Maintenance Woman) may bear remarkable similarities in appearance due to their immaculate flair for style and unflinching flock of followers, the buck stops there. When it comes to dealing with the various intricacies of life the two could not be more different in their approaches.

Friendships

In friendships, the HMW requires devotion and attention. She must be complimented by her friends on every occasion and she seeks their approval when making decisions for her life, although she would never admit to it. She is fickle when it comes to relationships with women. If one of her so called friends does not consistently adore her, she will walk away without even so much as a goodbye, turning to others who will readily give her the admiration that she craves.

Although the Alphanista is usually the most dominant of her circle of friends, she leads in a covert way that is not demanding and allows those around her to believe that they are actually calling the shots. The Alphanista is turned off by women who cling to her every word and mimic her every move. She is supercharged most by fellowshipping with other Alphanistas whose inclination to make their unique mark on the world pushes her to want more and do more.

Business

In business relationships, the HMW is a stickler for details. She is a very savvy business woman because she will cover all of the bases and is sure to get all of the facts before she makes a decision.

The Alphanista has an innate business instinct that she follows without fail. She knows where she is going and even when she is unsure of the steps necessary to get there, she trusts herself to make the best decisions for her life and career and is fueled by her independence. She doesn’t have to check with anyone before making a business move, she is confident enough to deal with any praise or repercussions that may be the result of her efforts.

Style

The HMW is a slave to fashion trends. She is usually spotted on the front row of every fashion show or buying out all of the high end fashion magazines to keep pace with the changing times. She would never wear last season’s handbag or be caught dead breaking any of the many faux paus of style. You will always be impressed by the HMW when you see her at an event- and you should- she takes great effort to maintain her perfection.

The Alphanista usually sports a more classic looks than those regurgitating the fair weather style of the season. She laughs at the trend setters and their followers because she knows that trends are fleeting and require too much work to maintain. She often has a signature accessory like a scarf, perfume or pair of sunglasses which becomes well known as her trademark and is admired and copied by those wishing to be more like her.

Love

When it comes to love and romance, the HMW can snag any man who is eager to feed her addiction to praise and approval. She is often lucky at love due to the fact that there are many men who cling to women who have the appearance of success. In relationships, the HMW is clearly the dominant force, however, she leads by making demands and punishing those who are unable to meet them. Submissive men are a good match for the HMW.

While the HMW is attracted to men who are eager to do her bidding, the Alphanista can not stand a man who is a go-to boy. She is also dominant in her countenance but she knows she can reach greater heights in life with a man who is just a bit more dominant than she is. He is a smooth individual who picks and chooses his battles carefully, knowing full well when to put the smack down and when to sit down and be quiet which delights the Alphanista because she never knows what to expect.

Embrace Your Fantasy: Figuring Out If He Only Wants Sex

Embrace Your Fantasy- Dealing With Rejection

Embrace Your Fantasy- Taking The First Step Toward Your Success

Embrace Your Fantasy: ReWriting Your Story

Embrace Your Fantasy- Dealing With Baby Mama Drama

Play It Safe: Text Messaging Do's & Don'ts

Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2009, 2:28 pm
By: Te-Erika Patterson, BlackAmericaWeb.com

So you just upgraded your cell phone plan by adding unlimited text messaging. No more rationing out your texts and getting frustrated when you can’t text back. You now have instant access to everyone you know at any time of the day or night. Don’t go buckwild and think you can do whatever you want to do. Just like with everything else, rules do apply. Slow down, pay attention, and take heed to the following do's and don'ts of text messaging.

Do remember the three Gs if you’re trying to make your special someone feel cherished. Send good morning, good night and good Luck texts when appropriate to keep the love flowing. Maybe if Kanye’s ex had listened to this advice instead of being so Dr. Evil, his album would have been called "808’s & Sexcapades.

"Don’t spam your friends with updates from your daily escapades. That’s why Twitter was invented. Sign up for Twitter, and amuse your followers with eye catching updates like “headed to the store."

Do use Quick Texts. On my way. Running Late. What’s Up? Call me. Too busy to call or too lazy to type out 150 characters? Quick Texts are saved messages conveniently stored in your phone and take a minute to access. They’re in there for a reason. Use them.

Don’t send a three-page text asking for a hookup if you’re creeping with the next woman’s man. Your name may end up in a high profile police report like the reluctant, now-intimate muse reported by TMZ to be behind the Chris Brown/Rihanna fight of the century. Everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame; make sure it’s for something good, okay?

Do remember to send a text message to everyone in your phone when you change your number or else you’ll be sent straight to voicemail when you try to reach out to your friends. No one answers numbers they don’t recognize.

Don’t forget to include LOL when you’re making a joke via text. Sarcasm doesn’t go over well in text messages.

Do send mass text messages for the holidays. Even though it’s impersonal and sometimes annoying, you don’t have time to call 100 people to say Happy New Year. At least they’ll smile knowing you thought enough of them to click their name.

Don’t dismiss someone because they misspell a word in a text. It’s text messaging, not a college entrance essay. Lighten up. And yes ... texted is a real word.

Do vote for your favorite on "American Idol." They need your support!

Don’t send anything that you don’t want other people to read. When the relationship goes sour, sometimes dirty tricks surface, and your words may become evidence against you in myriad of ways.

Do be extra mindful when replying to your boss. Don't slip up and think you're texting to one of your homies, or - even worse - a potential love interest. Those are wires you do not want to get crossed!

Don’t let your texts be your main method of communication with a person of interest. If you meet someone you like, don’t text them right away. Call first. Have a real conversation. Use text messages for the nasty afterthoughts.

Do use codewords if you’re doing undercover deeds. Replace sex with ice cream or ask “Did you let the dog out?” if you want to know if it’s okay for you to come over.

Don’t send a text message like, “I love you," freak out when you don’t get a response and then, five minutes later, send a follow-up text saying, “Sorry, I texted the wrong person.” If you said it and you meant it, don’t back down. Life is so much spicier this way!

---Te-Erika Patterson is a freelance writer in Miami, Florida.

How To Tame An Alphanista

By Te-Erika Patterson
Posted on Alphanista.com

If you’re up for a challenge, your relationship with an Alphanista will be the most frustrating, yet exhilarating ride that you’ve ever experienced- that is, if you know how to navigate the rocky terrain.

Sometimes I meet men who have so much potential but they just don’t get it. With a free spirit like me, you have to operate differently. The same rules that you’ll use with the average woman who uses her skills in the kitchen or the bedroom to snag her man won’t work with me.

Although there will never be a definitive guide to taming an Alphanista, (because she can not be tamed) following these suggestions will get you closer to your goal- the rest is up to God.

Be Consistent
You have to be consistent, mainly because I’m not. My preferences or taste buds can shift whenever the wind blows and I am energized by the complete freedom to change my mind on a whim. It’s challenging enough to wake up and decide what I want out of life “today” so I need a man who means what he says and does what he promises to do, day in and day out. Since most people alter their opinions to match mine, a man who is consistent with his preferences, expectations and actions provides the kind of structure that translates erotically.

Say Yes
You don’t say “no” when I see something pretty because you don’t have to. Your finances are not shaken by the state of the economy because your resources are long and strong. Even if you do lose out on a business venture, you have 5 more right behind it that are flourishing. You believe I deserve the best that life has to offer and you know it’s your responsibility to give it to me. I’m your fantasy woman and you’re not about to spoil your dream come true by not being able to give me my heart’s desires. There’s nothing that delights you more than watching my eyes twinkle as I give you a kiss after trying on one of your sparkly gifts or receiving a phone call from a business connection that you supplied. Thank you!

Correct Me
Yes, I do run shit in most situations and it is completely within my reach to do so elegantly but spending so much time teaching and molding others can take a toll on the psyche of an Alphanista. Don’t abuse this gift but I want to give you the secret; I likebeing taught and corrected by my man. If you can teach me something that will add to the success of my business endeavors I will definitely keep you around longer. And…every once in while, I need to be reminded that I am a mere mortal. An intentional, open handed smack to my rump will revitalize me and I will thank you for it.

Feed Me
I like to eat. You bring the food. That’s your job every single day. Show up to my place empty handed and that proves you don’t give a damn about me or my well-being. Goodbye.

Let It Slide
Sometimes the line between work and play can be blurred, at least in my mind. I have to be the hard ass to get things done and sometimes I carry that attitude home with me. I apologize in advance but you will just have to learn to deal with it. Don’t fight me on it. Let me rant and rave and try to strong arm you into doing the dishes. Instead of overanalyzing my requests- Do the dishes. It doesn’t take away from your role as my man. When I come down off of my power trip, I’ll realize what I’ve done and you’ll benefit from an apology you’ll never forget.

Let Me Love You
Yes, I have a whole list of people whose main desire is to please me but I have a sweet side too. I want to spoil you and pamper you and be your trophy too. I want you to brag to your friends about how well I take care of you and how much I add to your success. Don’t fight me when I want to do something nice for you. You deserve it just as much as I do. Let me take you on a trip and buy you something nice. Let me sweep you off your feet. Allow me to use my powers for good in appreciation for the wonderful man that you are. Let me love you in all of the extravagant, calculated ways that I know how because…I want to. Isn’t it your job to give me what I want? Uh huh…That’s right.

Will "Da Real One" on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy

Embrace Your Fantasy on Krib TV

Your Fantasy: Surviving An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Please visit You Are Not Crazy

This website is dedicated to women who deal with emotionally abusive men.

The Dragon Slayer: Hope For the African American Community

The Dragon Slayer: Hope For the African American Community from Te-Erika on Vimeo.

This is my final presentation for my Personality Theories Class. This presentation has caused a great deal of unrest in my department due to its strongly opinionated nature concerning the psychological development of the African American community since slavery. It's an interesting video that is highly inspirational if you are not easily offended (or white).

Please enjoy and forward to your friends.

New E-Book- Small Steps To Achieve Big Dreams

My latest e-Book, Small Steps To Achieve Big Dreams details the cultivation of the mindset of success. This 12-page eBook is brief and poignant, allowing the reader to quickly assess their strengths and weaknesses to create their own unique success stories.